What do people thank you for?

People tell me I look familiar.

A lot.

They peer at me with squinty eyes and a pause in their action. They try to place me. We usually don’t know each other.

Other people tell me I remind them of a family member, a friend.

Once in my 20s, curious about the phenomenon, I told a girlfriend that I think people see themselves in me. She looked back at me and said, “I love arrogant women.”

Mirror, mirror

It was a compliment. She did. But I didn’t mean to sound full of myself. When I looked back at those people peering at me, every time, I noticed they weren’t seeing me. They were looking at my face and viewing movies and pictures in their minds, reviewing conversations, locations, trying to place me in them. They were looking at their lives. They were seeing themselves.

My face was reflecting their memories. We just didn’t know it.

Now people come to me for that on purpose. I get paid to help people see themselves. A story charmer, I pull out their stories and make sense of them. I reflect people back.

You are here

I’m not sure what makes me a reflector. When I was younger, I slipped away so deeply from people, I moved about like a non-entity. I was quiet, one of those people who, in certain settings, could speak and no one would hear me. Evidence of my invisibility. But I was always engaged. Observing. Fly on the wall, my million eyes.

Now I ask questions while people search my face and see themselves. I help them find the YOU-ARE-HERE in their offer, in the vast map of their identity, the stories they’re living. I help them see.

We’re all mirrors. Somehow I just got an especially active one. And people thank me for it.

What do people thank you for?
What’s your offer in the world?

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Recently I sat in on a call with Danielle Laporte and Jonathan Fields jawing about site strategy and offer goodness. Danielle asked: What do people thank you for? This post is my answer. For its inspiration, I thank her.